Because I don’t have time to process all the PR requests I have in my email box, I hired my cat Ziggy to write reviews about new music. I don’t know where this is going but we’ll have to go with it.
- Vincent Walter Jacob
Meow! Here’s Ziggy you lazy bastards. I know you’re bombarded with targeted ads for Xanax or probably too busy scaring potential matches on Hinge because you described yourself as a "plant parent" so I decided to relieve you and spare you the time needed to discover new music. It’s a real jungle out there with all those new artists. Human technology and Youtube typebeats have allowed almost anyone to record songs at home and claim to be an artist. Since I'm a busy cat too, I won't spend too much time on it. To defend my territory, I must kill mice and battle possums.
ATTA BOY - SPRING SEVENTEEN
We'll get this new format started with LA indie-pop quartet Atta Boy. "Indie-pop" seems scary to me because I immediately think of a cheaper version of Dua Lipa. That's not Atta Boy. This is everything she isn't: unpretentious, simple, and enchantingly naive. As I listened to Spring Seventeen, I imagined myself lying at my human's feet, underneath a blanket, by the fire. Give me a cigar and a bowl of milk and that’s heaven for me!
FUTURE TEENS - TEAM SPORTS
Boston-based "emo-pop-rock" quartet Future Teens share their new single Team Sports from upcoming album Self Help. Oh no, another scary label: "emo-pop". This makes me itchy every time I read those descriptions. I'm tempted to ignore that song because all I can imagine now is My Chemical Romance's Gerard Way selling Self Help E-books on TikTok, and scamming me over matcha recipes and a discounted Joshua Tree Ayahuasca weekend. I’m not going to lie, Emo is not my cup of milk. I used to watch my owner dye his emo hair strand back in the 2000s, and that was pretty lame. Thank god for Facebook memories. I’m hitting play with my paw and the song is actually about hair:
“They just have to ask,
Are you doing okay?
Your hair’s changed a lot since I saw you last
I shrug it off
I resent the implication that
I must be in pain if something’s different
Lately I’m not doing great
But what’s my haircut have to do with anything?”
These must be some of the weirdest lyrics I ever read. But it’s probably because I’m a cat and I can’t relate that much to emo-hair problems. But maybe it's a little more subtle than that and it's actually about not judging a book by its cover, which is exactly what I was just doing. Shame on me! I get the song now and I dig it. Look at me, I look feral. But I'm actually a very nice cat.
Self Help is available for pre-order now, and out September 23 via Triple Crown Records.
PRCHR - WHAT YOU THINK
There is no doubt that PRCHR (pronounced Percher) are heavily influenced by both Royal Blood and Cleopatrick. Those Australian rockers play like Royal Blood (especially the drums and vocals), and the production tries to emulate the dirty wizardry cooked by the Dubé Brothers (aka Zig Mentality) for Cleopatrick. These two bands have an idiosyncratic quality that sets them apart from the crowd of newer rock bands. Naturally, they are influenced as well, but they brought something new to the table that is their own. For a band, it's the hardest thing to do. After the success of Shrek, what would people think if I started wearing a cape and a hat? They would think I'm a Puss In Boots rip-off! I opted for a Dali mustache for a while but it didn’t have the effect I expected. Though I like PRCHR's song, I hope they'll find their own way to surprise us in the future.
THE SWEET KILL - DARKNESS
When I hear New Wave, Cold Wave, Goth, and consort, my little puppy heart melts. I'm a sucker for those cold beats, those 80's synths, and that world once embodied by Joy Division / New Order, Marquis De Sade, and The Cure. The Sweet Kill is the creation of Pete Mills, who works from his own studio in Los Angeles. It follows all the codes of the genre, there is nothing really surprising here, but it works. With Germanic authority, Pete's gothic voice transports you to the world of ghouls and vampires. I wouldn't be surprised if Darkness became the next title song for my human's favorite goofy show: What we do in the shadows? "Bat!!!"
ZACH TABORI - ALLIGATOR
I’m glad I don’t live in Florida because I don’t trust those alligator guys. They wouldn't have any trouble making a meal out of me. Fortunately, the type of alligators you find in L.A. are much more friendly, even if they can cause some chaos. You have to watch the amazing video of Los Angeles based Turkish multi-instrumentalist, songwriter, and composer Zach Tabori. No wonder why he has worked with people like Frank Zappa's former keyboardist Tommy Mars. His latest record, Hard Boiled, was released earlier this month. I recommend it.
BROKE ROYALS - ALL I HAVE TO SHOW
Last but not least, Broke Royals is a Washington DC band that could be quite boring, but they are actually captivating for two main reasons. First, they’re not fucking posers, their music fucking feels real and it’s a welcome alternative to a lot of things we see online. It's not clear if social media messed it all up, but humans spend an awful lot of time broadcasting themselves and taking examples from very unpleasing people like the Kardashians. Instagram seems to be the place where my humant gets his validation fix. Anyway, Broke Royals also won my vote today because of their production. Their collaboration with Bartees Strange appears to have been fruitful. The little tricks and unexpected events along the way make it an enjoyable experience.
Are you done with me yet? I would like to take a nap under the Bougainvilliers in the backyard. Can I do that? I think you got enough new music for today.
See you around,